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He has a girlfriend now."There's a lot of ads on there, for sure.But there's a lot of people out there just looking for casual sex and some people find dating apps intimidating."He acknowledges that dating apps have lost a lot of the stigma they used to carry four or five years ago.But the public nature of dating apps - friends and friends of friends can see your profile - can make it harder to be forthcoming about just wanting sex, if that's what you're after.If you're in a casual relationship, or have ever been in one, you probably can't pinpoint when it started or ended."I didn't know what they looked like until I met them." And sometimes he didn't even get to see what they looked like.He estimates that he would answer hundreds of ads, which might net about 10 replies, which might then lead to one in-person interaction. But the encounters were memorable."Usually the person I would meet would be someone unattractive or would have weird tendencies," he says.
There are plenty of reasons why you might not want to have an official breakup conversation — namely, it can be awkward and seem dramatic.
So how exactly should you phrase this kind of breakup?
That depends on how long you've been seeing a person.
On the other hand, what if the person you're seeing doesn't actually express interest in meeting up with you again? Even if you don't think the person would care that you're ghosting, or you think they may also be ghosting, it's better to be the bigger person and close the loop, because you shouldn't assume that you know how other people feel.
"Ghosting is damaging to someone’s self-esteem and wastes emotional energy that could be better off invested back in the dating market," Burns says.
Your reasons for avoiding a talk depend on the circumstances of your relationship, but Burns says she has one rule that usually helps her clients figure out what to do: "If someone expresses interest in meeting up with you, but their feelings are not reciprocated, you owe them a let-down response." Pretty simple advice, but judging by the popularity of ghosting, it's not common practice.